“I hope you can fish as hard as you party.”

posted: 06/30/15
Amy Diary 2

After nearly passing out from a panic attack while being atop the stack for the very first time, we decided to call it a day. "Hey, Super Chick," apparently the guys had read the articles that I wrote for Pacific Fishing Magazine, and already thought of a nickname. "Do you want to go have a couple with us?" "Hell yes," I replied as I scrambled to change out of my Grundens sweats, and into something a little more 'girly.' I even decided to put on a little makeup too, but they weren't going to wait around for that. "Come on! The bus is leaving with or without you! Monte hollered out, as I fixed my hair. They're not going to leave me, I thought as I threw a coat on and ran up the stairs to join the boys.

Getting to know the crew

We squeezed as many of us inside as possible, but a few volunteers had to ride in the back of the truck, because the local watering hole-Norwegian Rat-was calling our names, and there was no time to wait. "This will be fun! Just like partying with my seiner buddies in Southeast," I ignorantly thought, as I threw back the first shot of Pendleton whiskey some weird guy at the end of the bar bought me before I even had the chance to sit down."Holy s***! You guys are even more wild than I am!" I yelled across the bar to my cute roommate Tyler, as he and Rob were sucking down the drinks two or three to my one. "Come on, Tough Girl! Its time to keep up with the big boys!" Oh f***, what did I get myself into? Also...was I developing a crush on the guy that sleeps below me in 'The Cave,' because that would be completely awkward!


The Deadliest Catch fan base is strong in Dutch and all over the world. This is made blatantly obvious by how many drinks people buy us at the bars. Come to think of it, they could've just been buying me drinks because they were just trying to get down my pants. Seven shots in, and I was feeling good then, I think around nine or ten is when the infamous 'gremlin' came out, and "Super Chick" turned into being "super drunk." All of a sudden, it was four am, and I didn't give a s*** that we had to be up soon. Like in three hours. I'd already decided to pull an 'all night'er' on a buddies boat that'd just arrived in Dutch from Southeast to cod fish. A few games of quarters, and 6:30 rolled around. Oh s***, I had to cab it back to the boat and sneak aboard before the cameras began to roll that morning. This day would be one I'd want to forget.


Puke and rally was the theme of the day. I literally wanted to just find a flare gun and stick it in my mouth at one point. I didn't care, I wanted to just get the pain and suffering over with. However, that night, my intentions were once again tarnished in a haze of alcohol and bad-albeit fun-decisions when I was peer pressured into going out with the boys for round number two at "The Rat." I didn't want to seem like a p**** to them, and I had to show them I was tougher than I look. But yet again, 7:30 am rolled around too quickly, and I was literally crawling back onboard the boat right before the ear-piercing intercom in our room went off. "Alright, guys, and gal, lets get after it! I never thought I'd address the crew like that!" Monte spoke with laughter beneath his breath. I could tell that he was enjoying himself immensely this morning by waking our drunk asses up, also that he couldn't wait to work us hard and make us regret whatever happened last night.


"Jesus, girl! You're just now getting back?!" Tyler asked, as he himself was just crawling out of his bunk below me. "F***, dude. I seriously hope you can fish as hard as you party. If you can, you will go far!" Tyler and I were a little slow to get out of our bunks, as we felt it absolutely necessary to rehash the events of the previous night."Dude, you totally made out with a girl last night, homie!" He told me. "Just kidding, but she wanted you to. You're just lucky you didn't take the cab back to the boat with us. Out of nowhere, she just started punching us for no reason! I didn't know what the f*** was going through her head." "Whiskey," I replied, as the cameras entered the room to begin rolling for the day. "Jess and I had way too much whiskey last night." I think it was at this point where the realization hit. Everything I do, say, or even think is being recorded. "Where is the flare gun?" I asked as I threw my work clothes on, then threw up in the toilet.


That morning was brutal. I was sentenced to the green horn station. Making bait all day. Until then, I'd never known just how disgusting cod could smell and look. Puke on deck, hose it off, cut more cod, grind more bait, and repeat. This went on for what seemed like an eternity. At least I made the guys laugh their asses off. "Super Girl doesn't look so good this morning," Tyler said. "Watch this, I bet I can make her puke even more!" was Rob's comeback to the situation, as he made gagging noises directly behind me. "Oh s***, I'm going to puke again, get the f****** camera away from me!" I yelled at Tom while he zoomed in for a close up of me losing it in the bait bin."Tonight's our last night at The Rat before we take off, Amy." One of the guys teased as I gagged at the very thought of whatever those shots were that had made me feel like death warmed over. "Sure, last night in town for three weeks. I'm just going to run in and grab a half dozen gatorades, a bottle of Tums, and a sandwich," was my reply.

Eyes in the sky, and the dry heaves.

The following morning was the day for the infamous helicopter scenes that depict the fleet leaving Dutch Harbor, but this time I wasn't the only one feeling like s***. "Ha ha, f******!" I laughed at the boys while we were all getting queazy. Dry heaving over the rail seemed to be a chain reaction with the Wizard crew that morning, but thankfully I wasn't as bad off as the two days prior. Tyler would puke, followed by Rob, then I would. Hell, we even had our cameraman Tom puking at one point. All caught on tape, as Lenny and Soper just shook their heads and laughed. We were showing the world through the camera lenses orbiting above that we had a little too much fun and were now paying the piper--and the makers of Fireball Whiskey.

The guys hopped atop the stack for camera ops after we got it out of our systems, but I stayed hidden at the bait station, diligently working away last night's debauchery. After a few minutes, I peaked my head out just long enough to get sprayed by the chopper that was now hovering directly above the boat."This is surreal," I told one of the guys. "You'll get used to it after a couple days, and after a week, you wont even know they're there. Well, most of the time."

Stacking the freezer, and flirting with a cute guy at the fuel dock

I tripped over a tie up line that weighed as much as I do, but jumped up as quickly as I hit the deck, because if the guys saw that, I'd never hear the end of it! We pulled up to the fuel dock, to load up our pallets that consisted of 50-pound squid bags, and enough 25-pound blocks of frozen herring to fill the port side freezer from the floor to the ceiling. Lets not forget the eight totes of my favorite, slimy cod fish. I took a turn in the freezers, and we stacked them high. The guys put me in the cold, but I didn't mind. I just thought it was part of the greenhorn gig on the boat." Hey, guys, I have way too many layers on for this s***," I said a few minutes later from the inside of the freezer. I was completely oblivious to what was happening, as it didn't seem to hurt the guys' feelings when I requested a time out to take some clothes off. Turns out, there was a 'nip show' going on through the camera lens, and the thin cotton shirt I had on. Looking back on that situation, it's easy to see why the guys told me to stay in there for such a long time, but here I thought it to be 'normal' for the new greenhorn work. If this wasn't a sure sign of what it would be like as a young girl on a boat with a bunch of crabbers for extended amounts of time, then I don't know what is.

After that little oopsy, I volunteered to fill the starboard fuel tank. Lenny watched attentively to make sure I was paying attention to the numbers on the pump, and not the cutest guy I'd laid eyes on who just so happened to be walking over to the Wizard. I quickly pulled my hair out of a pony tail, and let it fall upon my shoulders. Turns out he just wanted to come over to tell me how beautiful he thought I was. "What a classic one-liner," I thought to myself, as I wondered how many girls he'd gotten to take the bait with his gorgeous smile, and sparkly blue eyes. We ended up talking the entire time, and he even gave me his number. It was awkward though, as I tried to forget about the hidden cameras that were mounted all over the boat. "Looks like we have company," the hottie from the dock said, as I looked over my shoulder to notice Soper shaking his head, and Lenny stomping over to give me another f****** lecture. "You need to pay attention and quit flirting, Amy. You leave her alone too, can't you see that she's working!" Lenny barked as I was quick to respond, "Yes, Lenny. I'm sorry," before turning my back and fighting off the giggles. Apparently it's true what all my fishermen buddies say. I'm a pathological flirt and know how to get my way.

I had to take a break from the flirting and tend to the slimy b******* that would become my new best friends throughout the weeks to come. So, we put the totes on top, and I jumped down below to keep the fish from flying everywhere, but that's when the catastrophic incident occurred. "Ah s***! Get me out of here!" I yelled as I found myself confined in the bin. Slowly being buried alive by the mother f******. I quickly realized that the guys were pranking me. "F*** my life," I yelled at the cameraman, as he attempted to hand me a mic to capture what would surely be a future promo for the show. I began to scream in horror, "I don't want the G** d*** mic, just get me the f*** out of here, the bin boards are too high!" Cod slime poured down all around me, and with cameras continuing to roll, I cried like a little bitch. This was reality TV at its finest and would surely make it on a promo for the show!

If you want to find out what other pranks the guys put me through, check back in next Tuesday for entry number three!

Greenhorn Amy Majors Gets Plunged into Crabbing
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